| good morningggg. |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|06:23 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "peaches" - the presidents of the united states of america | ] |
I woke up at 5:30 today for work. D:> |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|07:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Pretty Noose" - Soundgarden | ] |
Start my new job today. :)
Wish me luck. |
|
|
| Top ten d00ds. |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|11:35 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Iris - goo goo dolls. | ] |
1. Compose a list of YOUR top ten sexiest/cutest/hottest/etc men from #10-#1.
2. Collect pictures of each guy.
3. Post them in your journal.
4. I don't want to tag y'all, so feel free to pinch!
Mine aren't necessarily in order of who's hotter than who, I can't really put them in a right order.
( The boys. ;D ) |
|
|
| Time wastin'. |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|08:38 pm] |
TEN movies I can't live without:
+ Requiem for a Dream.
+ Clockwork Orange.
+ American Psycho.
+ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
+ Repo! The Genetic Opera.
+ Young Frankenstein.
+ Evil Dead.
+ ANYTHING BY HENRY ROLLINS.
+ Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
+ Old sk00l horror.
NINE albums that are important to me:
+ Marilyn Manson - Holywood.
+ The Animit - An Unfortunate Truth.
+ NIN - Pretty Hate Machine.
+ Skinny Puppy - Singles Collection.
+ VAST - Visual Audio Sensory Theater.
+ Deadsy - Commencement.
+ Depeche Mode - Ultra.
+ Nirvana - Unplugged in New York.
+ Incubus - Make Yourself.
EIGHT bands/artists I couldn't live without:
+ Skinny Puppy.
+ Nine Inch Nails.
+ VAST.
+ Tool.
+ Marilyn Manson.
+ OhGr.
+ Depeche Mode.
+ Incubus.
SEVEN things that annoy me:
+ Every shirt/album/vinyl/poster I fucking want is out of print/rare/expensive.
+ Shitty music.
+ People who insist on listening to shitty music.
+ My feet/limbs falling asleep.
+ my laptop heating up excessively.
+ money.
+ Fat.
SIX of my favorite songs at this moment:
+ Assimilate - Skinny Puppy
+ A Dirty Glass - Dropkick Murphys
+ The Gates of Rock and Roll - VAST
+ Senorita - VAST
+ Glass Houses - Skinny Puppy
+ This Corrosion - Sisters of Mercy.
FIVE TV shows I watch:
+ Weeds.
+ Dexter.
+ True Blood.
+ M*A*S*H.
+ It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
FOUR of my all-time-favorite books:
+ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
+ Fight Club.
+ Marilyn Manson: A long hard road out
+ Devil in my details.
THREE albums I've bought recently:
+ new incubus.
+ new pigface.
+ new alec empire.
TWO people that have influenced my life the most:
+ einz + jenni.
+ nivek ogre + cevin key.
ONE Thing I could spend the rest of my life with:
+ einz bee!! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|04:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Henry Rollins spoken word. | ] |
Watching some Henry Rollins right now. :)
Totally fucking awesome!
I wish I could see him again. |
|
|
| Had a really shitty weekend. |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|06:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "special k" - placebo | ] |
Einz decided I was too stressful to deal with and broke up with me on saturday. He's since fixed his mistakes, but it was not a good 90% of the weekend.
He's picked up the pieces and currently trying to assemble them again.
I guess I expected it.
Saturday, I was a miserable wreck. I couldn't stop crying and there was no one around to soothe me. Besides Jenni [who has no way to get here, or vice versa], everyone else I know was basically like, "who effing cares." or "i have other plans, fuck you." about it. My friend Nick invited me out to Union City and we drank the night away with movies and Left4Dead and hot dogs at 3 am.
At that point, I decided to leave him alone for a while. A few days, a few weeks. Whatever it took.
It was a nice way to spend the night, considering normally I'd be sitting on my ass in my bed crying hysterically, otherwise. The next morning me and nick woke up (me on his marshmallow bed! so comfy!) and got breakfast. I thanked him for everything and went on my way home. Prior to going home, I checked melo and noticed Einz's entry was just.. incredibly difficult to read. I was half between crying, and half between getting really mad again that he broke up with me.
I texted him when I got to my car.
s - "Are you okay?"
"Far from."
s - "I'm miserable without you."
"I Am too."
So I drove home without much difficulty, (the way there sucked! 80 to 280 to the turnpike to 495 to 95? to weehawkin to union!! confusing holy shit.) The way home was easier, Nick led me out to route 3, which is the easiest way to get home from that area. So I drive home listening to Depeche mode's song, "Fragile Tension" the whole way and met Einz at Dunkin as per usual.
It was kind of awkward at first. At some point I said, "Can we pretend yesterday didn't happen?"
As we're hugging he goes, "that's what i needed to talk to you about."
and i expected the worse. I expected a whole thing about how he couldn't possibly continue this way, etc etc. Apparently I was thinking too negatively and he said the exact opposite of what I expected.
He asked if he could fix everything.
I agreed, obviously.
We spent the rest of the evening together until I fell asleep on him. <3
I'm not completely healed, I'm definitely a bit hurt still. It'll take time. But, there's nothing I want more than him. <3 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2009|01:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | placebo - "holocaust" | ] |
Woke up at noon, despite going to be real early. Planned to wake up at nine, but I fell asleep before i could set any alarms.
So I get up, go pee. My mom's in her room, and on the way she goes, "You need to get a job soon, your dad wants you out of here if you don't have one."
What the fuck?! How is that going to help anyone? If I don't have a place to live, giving money that I "owe" to you will not be priority. In fact, I think you're a useless piece of shit that just sits in the living room watching tv and drinking all fucking day. At least I'm looking. Did you know that right now is the worst time to find a job? So fuck off, give me a fucking break.
So okay. I have to deal with that within the first two minutes of waking up. Great.
So I get online. Einz is on, we say hi.
I'm checking his melo as we're talking and it's pretty much all, "blah blah i wish you wouldn't dwell on your past, etc" and like, what the fuck? I mean, okay, so I'm already riled up from the bullshit threat from my dad. This? Not helping.
What Aaron and I had between us was a big deal to me. It was a considerable portion of my teen years, despite not being as "official" as most people were. There was a time he wanted to marry me, and I'd like to think he's over it. Regardless he has not phoned me in months, therefore I have no idea if he even wants to know who I am anymore. I really fucking try not to dwell on things. That's fucking hard by itself, but I'd like to think that at least, every once in a while I'm allowed to think about something that happened and was very significant for me.
So three years of knowing someone very, very well, and another three years of continuing to be [some kind of fucked up] friends with said someone is a long time. So when you and I hit three years, I'll shut the fuck up about it, okay?
Anyway- fuck today. It's ruined already. I hate everything. |
|
|
| sigh. |
[Jun. 12th, 2009|04:46 pm] |
Why don't you call anymore?
I suppose six years of fucking each other over, you finally decided to get away.
I'm actually saddened by this.
I told you to die. I meant it.
I still miss you.
I'll never be what you want me to be to you, though.
I wish you'd bother me again. |
|
|
| finally i've found that i belong here. |
[Nov. 7th, 2008|01:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | depeche mode - "i want it all" | ] |
I love my Einz.
Work sucks, but it pays.
My bestie is coming back for this weekend, yay!
and we're going to qxt's. woot.
|
|
|
| Repo! |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|03:25 pm] |
|
|
|
|
| A quick hello. |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|02:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | paneraaa | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | shitty panera music | ] |
Hi.
I'm at panera bread currently.
So, my battery is gonna die soon.
Just going out to a party tonight, that's pretty exciting.
Q's friday & saturday. Or, Batman [for the 3rd time] on friday, and q's on saturday. :D |
|
|
| It's in the pills that bring you down. |
[Jul. 30th, 2008|08:26 am] |
I never write on here.
Why bother?
I'm done with getting close to people for now. Specifically, guys. It's not worth my time, the endless frustrations and meaningless (albeit, awesome) sex.
Although, I guess I wouldn't mind forever sleeping with Ignacio.
He's beautiful.
That acid fucked with my head. I was alright slightly infatuated with him. I'm sure the sex progressed my infatuation, THEN, we tripped together. So, it brought on this very special, trusting feeling. Which I don't like.
I feel like I should just stop trying to pursue relationships of any kind. Guys are either boring or supposedly too good for me. So either I'm the one rejecting losers, or I'm desperately trying to get the attention of a boy who wants nothing to do with me. Always.
Oh, well.
i'll figure everything out, eventually.
I talked with my mum this morning. It was nice. |
|
|
| a haiku. |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|04:54 am] |
wrapped in sheets of red,
adoring whispers drift through
my dreamland with you. |
|
|
| lj. |
[May. 5th, 2008|01:39 am] |
i use this lj mostly for buying/selling earrings.
haha.
ah well.
go to melodramatic.com and look up "sunshine_fair".
;] |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|02:27 am] |
|
I'm completely unsatisfied. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|09:07 pm] |
I met the most amazing guy EVER last night at QXT's.
His name is Brad.
He lives in Brooklyn.
He's 24.
He makes and loves industrial.
He's very, very attractive.
He lived in Massachusetts for 10 years.
He did not give me his phone number. WTF.
Someone took a picture of me and said attractive boy, and I did not get their info so I could have it. :[
I saw him from across the room. I told Jenn I found him attractive. Terrorfakt played, they were great! I stood next to/near him the whole set and found out his name was Brad.
I went outside to smoke a clove afterwards. He had disappeared.
He was outside. :D
It was so fucking cold, so I stood there bitching about how cold I was and how It's better than living in Massachusetts but I was practically naked, so i was cold. And Brad goes, "i hate massachusetts. I lived there for 10 years."
So! He was born near the town where i went to college in!
I stood behind him to block to wind for the remainder of my cigarette.
I ran inside, because I was seriously, really fucking cold. xD
So I was dancing with Jenn for a while.
Part of my Crin hairpiece fell off so I grabbed it and ran to the bar to fix it.
Oh, just my luck, who was at the bar but Brad? :D
So I fixed, him smiling in amusement at me, and me returning a slightly embarrassed smile back. I leaned against the bar next to him and asked him how he did his hair. (It was like super spiked up.) He said hairspray.
He said he's from Brooklyn.
We started talking about Cenotype (who was beginning to play) and how I felt pretty indifferent to their music. He was telling me all this stuff about how to make it, programs to use, what I need to master. And I was in fucking HEAVEN. Like holy shit.
He's super attractive. He loves industrial and MAKES IT TOO OMFG. jesus. there's more i'm sure, but he's like my dream boy. Seriously. Everyone else waits for blonde prince charming to come on a horse in royal attire, while I want a black haired gothy industrial boy.
So we wandered closer to watch more of Cenotype. He's friends with him and the guys from Life Cried as well.
They finished and he was about to walk off when Jenn was like, "Dance!" So he stuck around for a little bit and shyly danced. (Luckily, it was 'Christfuck' by Wiumpscut--and he was wearing a wumpscut shirt--and we had spoken about wumpscut earlier while standing at the bar.)
At some point jenn was like, "wanna go?" and I'm like NO! D:
So she went up to him, without me knowing (i found this out later), and asked him to give me his number.
Jenn just figured he was waiting till later. I assumed thats what she said, and assumed it as well.
Well, the night came to an end. and i stood there waiting for him to come say goodbye, or something. He didn't. :[
So I was like, "Hey, we're gonna go.."
and he was all, "i have to walk to the subway anyway."
okay then..
So we walk to my car together, and he's all "see ya around."
and I'm like.. uhh yeah.
and i hug him and he goes, "I'll find ya.. somewhere."
Like there's NO WAY he can find me. seriously.
if he does find me I'll be amazed he tried that hard. GOD.
I'M SO MAD I DIDN'T GET HIS NUMBER/SCREENNAME/ANYTHING. D:
fgkdgnfkjgnfdgsgnsk fuckkkk1@!!11dndjhgsjnskg mau. D:
D: D: D: |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
itsunoriginal's journal
